Marathon sex sessions are the stuff that dreams are made of. How many of us have fantasised about fucking all night long? I know I have. There have been times where a partner and I have spent the entire day in bed… but that’s with plenty of breaks and stops along the way. Lasting that long seems so unrealistic.
Yet people want to know how they can last longer in bed. They fixate on the amount of time it takes them to orgasm, eager to know how to extend it. There are actually some surprisingly simple tricks you can try. If you want to know how to do it, I’ve got some tips for you.
How long is average?
This is one of the most awkward questions to ask. Why? Because many surveys take what is said at face value… and people lie. We don’t like admitting our faults to ourselves half of the time, never mind to strangers asking about our sex lives! If someone asks how long you last in bed, you might be tempted to exaggerate a little.
It all depends on where you look. Some studies have suggested that the average is around 6 minutes. This can vary wildly. From personal experience I’ve known people last a few seconds. I’ve also known people last over half an hour, which isn’t as amazing as you might think it sounds.
As for how long we want you to last? Many use a 2008 study as the basis for their theories. Published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, they claimed that lasting between 7 and 13 minutes was “desirable”. Different studies have different theories, as this clip from The Drs shows, and I’m still shocked by the time they suggested people last!
Methods for lasting longer
I’m going to kick this off by saying that I’m not a medical professional. I might dress up as a nurse sometimes, but that’s as close as I’m going to get. If you came here looking for a magical cure for premature ejaculation, you aren’t going to find it. I’ve got advice and tricks to help you last longer in bed, but if you believe you are dealing with PE, you should speak to your doctor.
Yes, going to your doctor about sexual problems is terrifying. Believe me, I know. But these problems don’t go away on their own! Your doctor won’t laugh at you. They’ve probably heard it tons of times before, so let them help you.
That said, if you just want to last a bit longer during sex, you’re in the right place. Below you’ll find some surprisingly simple tricks to help delay your orgasm, as well as suggestions for when it works best.
• Use foreplay to your advantage
Sex isn’t all about sticking your cock in a pussy and timing how long you last. For a lot of people, they include foreplay in the length of time for sex sessions. So make foreplay a regular part of your sex life! Our bodies need time to warm up to sex, so if you’re concerned you won’t last longer than your partner, use foreplay to get them further along.
• Thicker condoms and different lube
Yay for safe sex! Not only is it a great way to make sure no-one walks away with more than they bargained for, but it can also help you last longer in bed. How? You can switch your condoms. There are tons of condoms out there designed to delay your orgasm. Often they are thicker, which reduces the sensations you feel. Some also have a special lubricant to delay you further.
• Masturbate beforehand
Once you’ve had one orgasm you might find it takes longer for you to enjoy a second. This might suck if you only have half an hour with your partner and you really want to squeeze two in, but it can be useful when you want to last longer! Jerk off before you have sex. You’ll need to experiment to figure out how long you need to yourself, but it’s all fun and games.
• Try different positions
I’m a bit hesitant to recommend this trick. It does work, but it can be frustrating for your partner. Some people, women in particular, need steady stimulation in order to reach orgasm. While changing positions during sex can help to delay you, it might leave your partner frustrated. I’d suggest talking to your partner beforehand so that they know to expect it. If you end up coming before they do, take some time to even the playing field.
• Edging your way to victory
Sometimes the best thing to do is give yourself a break. Stopping stimulation to allow yourself to calm down is fine. In fact, it’s known as edging. Not only can it bring you back from the edge of orgasm, but it can also intensify your orgasm! Want to edge with your partner? That’s known as ledging, as explained in the tweet below.
How do you last longer?
There are so many different techniques people use to try and last longer during sex. I’ve given you five different ones, but there are plenty more. Some try and distract themselves by doing complicated sums in their head. Others might squeeze their cock in a certain place to try and delay their orgasm.
If you have a simple trick that works well for you, I want to hear about it! Tell me what it is in the comments below and why it helps you last longer. You could help someone like you out!
Since then she has gained a fine reputation with her blogs on sex advice, sexual health and amusing news stories from around the globe. She is also a campaigner for the rights of sex workers from all over the world.
In her spare time, Lara keeps herself active by going running, and is something of a film buff. She also loves to go travelling.