We have all been in that position. We fancy someone and we want to send them a text to them for the first time. We want our conversation to sound funny, yet natural. What we don’t want to do is make a complete ass out of ourselves, and to be fair, that is pretty easy to do.
The main problem is the whole ‘not sounding too keen’ thing. Now, to be fair, I can’t help you on that one. It is as tough as they come, and I question whether any of us ever get it truly right.
However, it seems there are five big mistakes that people do make
The nuggets come from Business Insider , sociologist Eric Klinenberg (who wrote a book with comedian and actor Aziz Ansari about modern-day dating)
We hope they come in useful for you.
The first lesson is never send a generic ‘hey’ text that has nothing else accompanying it.
“It’s a very confusing and strange message and tells people nothing.”
2) Acting Like a Secretary
Now, not in a dirty way. If you have got that far, you probably aren’t that bad at texting. They mean more like going round and round trying to schedule a date with someone you hardly know.
Here are a few examples
“‘Oh can we meet at Starbucks on 4pm on Tuesday?’
“‘Oh no 4pm on Tuesday doesn’t work for me, how about 6pm on Monday for a drink?’
“‘Oh Monday I’ve got spinning class, I can’t make that.’
“Three or four of those exchanges and all the energy is sapped out and people just forget it and ‘swipe left’ and move on to the next person.”
3) Overly Long Texts
There is a big difference between a generic ‘hey’, and writing War and Peace.
“Really, just a couple of sentences are ideal.
“One thing we learned is a very strong opening text is something that recognises both the name of the person and says something which makes it clear you know who he or she is.
“If you can do all that in a witty way, it’s a bonus.”
4) Poor Grammar and Spelling
A major issue for many in the fledging stages of a relationship is if someone sounds stupid, Klinenberg urges us to get this right with this brutal piece of advice.
“Maybe you should study a little bit more before you ask someone out via text.”
Obviously this doesn’t take into account the fact that some people may have issues which affect their spelling, like dyslexia, but sadly it is a brutal world, especially when you are texting!
5) Don’t Ask To ‘Hang out’
Finally, don’t ask someone if they want to ‘hang out.’
“No one has any idea what that means. Do you want to watch a game? Do you want a beer? Are you trying to hook up? Are you taking them to meet your friends or parents? It’s totally ambiguous.
“And no one wants ambiguity when they’re trying to text and make plans.”
So come on, are you guilty of any of these? Or none at all? Let us know in the poll below!
Since then, he has specialised in articles on the battle for equal rights for sex workers, sexual health, as well as bringing the readers fun news from around the world. He also has a major interest in LGBT rights, and is an active campaigner in this field.
When he isn't fighting the good fight, he enjoys spending time with his girlfriend, and young daughter. He also enjoys reading and taking long walks.
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