Is Seeing an Escort Cheating?

One of the biggest questions regarding our industry has to be ‘is seeing an escort cheating on your partner?’. We are all pretty much aware that most clients are in relationships, so does it naturally follow that we have a nation of cheaters?

Man with a hangover lying in a hotel bed with sexy woman in a black underwear

A Confusing Landscape

Now I need to start off by saying that not every escort scenario is the same. Also, irrespective of whether either partner would consider it cheating, I somehow doubt that escort exploits are discussed over the dinner table. Is that an indication that it is cheating, or more of a healthy separation, like a ‘I know you do it, just keep it quiet’ attitude? That will be one for individual couples.

Before we go on, for the male party to think it isn’t cheating, but the woman to do so, and then for the man to justify it to himself isn’t how a relationship should work. If your partner would think it is cheating, don’t tell yourself it is OK. Either do it and don’t get caught, or don’t do it.

But let’s get back to whether people actually see it as cheating. It is fair to say that for many this is a really grey area.

It is in a man’s genetic make-up to want to have sex with different people. It goes back to when cavemen used to go and spread their seed. Now in the age of monogamous relationships, that is frowned upon. Therefore, guys have a choice. They can either suppress their natural instinct (as many do) or they will have sex with people outside their current relationships. The reaction of the partner may well depend on how that happens.

The most common way is for an affair to happen. The man will meet a lady on a night out or at work, they will hit it off, they then start getting together being the back of the female partner and having sex. When that gets rumbled, major problems are caused, with divorces and break ups aplenty. Things never end well.

This is where escorts come in. The argument that it isn’t cheating revolves around the idea that it is just sex. There is zero emotional connection, so to put it bluntly, you are just having a wank with someone else’s body. This isn’t a belief held by every woman of course, but a high proportion will see it this way.

There are of course other reasons men see escorts, often with the blessing of their partner. Maybe they are into something kinky like BDSM which the wife or girlfriend has no intention of doing? Hell, when I was young, one of my colleagues used to pay for an escort for her fella on his birthday as she hated giving oral, and that meant he could get it.

There is also the issue with disabled partners. For one reason or another, the lady may not be able to have sex. Many in this position would much rather their partner see an escort, rather than start an affair behind their back.

Other Viewpoints

Now alternatively, you will see many partners who consider this cheating. All I have said above will just be seen as ‘weasel words’ and self-justification. If you are having sex with someone outside the relationship, you are cheating. It may be simplistic, but that doesn’t mean it is wrong. People have ingrained views on the connection between sex and love. Some of us may see sex with an escort as different, but others will feel that by doing that you are betraying them and your special bond.

There is also a third option, and it is the option my partner sees it as. She would not be impressed, but she sees it as less bad than an affair where emotions can get involved. That isn’t a tacit approval for me doing it, but more like an acceptance I would have more chance of being forgiven if I did it. I would love to see facts and figures as it wouldn’t surprise me if this middle ground is where most people were.

Be Careful

There really is no right or wrong answer to this question, and it is all down to the individual. After that, how you go about your life is up to you.

Either way, if you want to do anything ‘questionable’, the best way to not hurt someone is to not get caught, and that is why we created this guide. Remember, just because you may be told something is OK, doesn’t mean that once that behaviour becomes real, those initial musings will be carried forward. That is something you always need to be aware of.

Martin Ward
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