How Not to Get Caught Dogging in Glasgow!

Don’t look at the title and think ‘Really, Zoe?’, I know how dirty all of you Glaswegians are! Being dirty is a good thing because it shows how fun and exciting you are.

The river clyde as it runs through Glasgow, Scotland

Now, whether you’re a voyeurist, an exhibitionist, or a little bit of both, Glasgow is known to be one of the top cities in Scotland to go out and get freaky with doggers such as yourself. Luckily for all of the horny Scottish folks that are reading this article right now, you can find out what are the newest and most popular dogging spots are by looking on websites like fabswingers and swingingheaven.

However, the laws on public sex in the UK are still ambiguous, and it’s better to be safe than sorry when rules are involved with public sex. Therefore, it’s vital for you guys and girls to learn how to not get caught dogging in Glasgow.

Turn up to your dogging spot discreetly

Woman engaging in sex work

In my opinion, you’re only allowed to make noise when you turn up to a party that’s located at the Hillhead Bookclub or Boteco Do Brasil. When it comes to dogging spots, you have to make sure that you turn up to the site as discreetly as you could. Various Car Parks and Castle Grounds in Glasgow are some of the newest areas where you can go and fuck strangers in , but you don’t want unwanted people following you at night, like the police or private landowners that could put you in some serious shit. If you want to keep going to your favourite fuck-spot, don’t post the location on Facebook, and definitely, do not take a picture of it and put it on Instagram; you mustn’t underestimate the stupidity of humans nowadays.

It’s not the half-time at the Superbowl, so don’t have loud sex

I understand how difficult it can be to contain your excitement in your mouths, especially if you get off on public sex. But the last thing you want is to get caught by a police officer with a cock in your mouth or ass.

As mentioned before, the UK laws on public sex are ambiguous and can leave us confused on what acts are legal and illegal. Nevertheless, you can always get done for causing a nuisance in public spaces, which is why it’s important to bring a ball-gag or an extra pair of panties to stuff your mouth with when you’re going. Well, either bring those things with you on your public sex adventures, or learn how to climax quietly.

It’s not a rally race either, so don’t beep your horn if you’re bringing your car

This may seem obvious to you doggers, but like I said before, don’t underestimate the stupidity of humans. Most of the dogging spots in Glasgow are situated on the outskirts of the city centre, normally behind hidden bars and pubs, but that doesn’t mean you can go inside to have a pint and idiotically shout out ‘Right, who wants to fuck me out back?’.

You wouldn’t say that when you’re in a pub, so why use the horn on your car to beep about it outside? If you want to let others know that you’re up for public sex, or for putting on a show, just discreetly flash your headlights to let them know where you are.

Know the etiquette of dogging

Letting the police know about Glasgow’s dogging spots is one thing, but pissing another dogger off to make him or her call the authorities is another. As I always state on Twitter, the two things that you need to have during sex are condoms and consent, no questions asked. So, even if you only want to watch a dogging session, it’s necessary that you bring condoms with you, in case the situation changes and you can’t repel yourself from the sex that would be happening in front of you.

There are too many dogging guidelines to write here, but you can have a look on this swinging site and also on this top dogging website. All I will say, however, is that you have to be polite and patient at all times. You don’t know what every dogger’s limits are, so it’s best to play it safe if you don’t want to upset them

Clean up your mess after your dogging sexcapade

If your housemate had a house party while you were away for the weekend, and he didn’t clean up the empty cans of Carling and leftover cheesy chips when you got back home, you would be pretty pissed, wouldn’t you?

This is the kind of shit that doggers get a lot of bad rep for; they leave their used condoms behind for other people to see in the daytime, or to accidentally step on. In fact, this is one of the most important things that you have to do if you want to avoid getting caught, because a non-dogger could call the authorities that would put the dogging site on lockdown.

Glasgow is known to be one of the most popular cities in Scotland, where you get a mix of both open and closed minded people. It’s great that we have a lot of sexually open people in the city, but for the sake of them and others around them, it’s important to know that you still have to respect public spaces if you want to continue using them for your Glasgow dogging sexcapades. Just keep that in mind.

Zoe Jaspers
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