We’d love to believe that every single time we have sex we are going to enjoy an intense orgasm. However this is often not the reality. Sometimes we are left wanting more and feeling disappointed that we don’t get it. Or sometimes we just aren’t in the mood to fuck. Yes, it sounds strange, but it happens. But this can lead to a few fake orgasms.
Some people can fake orgasms without their partner suspecting a thing. However, when their acting isn’t up to scratch it can really make you feel like shit when you know they are faking it. Why would they fake it in the first place? What do they achieve by faking orgasms?
We take a look at some reasons why women fake it in the bedroom, and just what you can do to help fix this.
Just too tired
The best kind of sex is the kind where you and your partner are equal in bed. You’ll change positions so that you both get to do the things that you love the most. You’ll put all of your extra energy for the day into sex and then collapse into bed afterwards, ready to sleep.
If you are having a tough week at work, or even trouble sleeping, you might find that you just don’t have the energy you need to make sex as good as usual. It takes a large number of women a long time to reach orgasm. We might be turned on while you go down on us or fuck us, but after a bad day we just want to go to sleep. This is why it can be tempting to fake an orgasm.
So how can you help? Start by seeing how your partner is feeling. If they are a little exhausted and just want to sleep, try treating them to a slow and sensual massage. This can help them to relax, and it can also put them in the mood for sex. They might discover a second wind which will definitely help! Otherwise, just give them time to get their energy back. You’ll find sex so much better if you do!
Not in the mood
You might not want to hear this, but sometimes we aren’t in the mood for sex. We might love having sex but we just don’t want it right now. This could be for a number of different reasons, such as stress, feeling tired, or even arguing with your partner.
The “I have a headache” excuse doesn’t work any more, since we know that having an orgasm can cure a headache. This means that sometimes we just have sex, even though we don’t really want to.
So see if you can help to ease their struggles a little. You’ll be amazed at what a different running a bath for them can make. You can even try giving them a massage, as we have already suggested, to help. Another fantastic thing to do is spend longer on foreplay. Instead of doing it for just five minutes before fucking, you could take longer. This will get them more turned on and excited for what you have in store for them next!
The sex is just bad
Not all sex is good. Sometimes it is bad. Really bad. It might be that our partner just doesn’t get what we want in the bedroom, or that they use the wrong techniques to try and get us off. When this happens we might fake it just to get sex over with quicker.
No, we shouldn’t do it, but if you suspect your partner is faking it for this reason, you need to fix it. Take the time to sit down and talk with them about sex. Discuss all of the things that you love doing together. Find out what they love most in the bedroom.
By having an open and honest discussion about sex, you’ll find that it is easier to have better sex. Your partner needs to feel like you will listen to them when it comes to what they want in the moment, so if they do criticise you, take it on board. Try to do what they ask and you’ll see a huge difference.
It’s a habit
I will admit right here, right now that I have faked orgasms in the past. At first I did it to stroke my partner’s ego and make them feel good about themselves. Then it simply became a habit… and some habits are hard to shake.
When faking orgasms becomes a habit it takes a long time to overcome this. Your partner needs to relax a little and start to trust you to get them off. So just how are you supposed to help them overcome this habit to fake orgasms?
Don’t focus on the end goal with sex. Instead of fucking to get them to cum, fuck because it feels good. Don’t aim for the orgasm. By making sex more relaxed you’ll find that they aren’t as tempted to fake it. They will enjoy the moment more. And you never know… they might just cum anyway!
Fake orgasms: are they easy to spot
There are plenty of people out there who believe that they can spot a fake orgasm a mile away. They think that they know all of the signs of an orgasm and so, when their partner does fake it, they’ll instantly know.
However, apparently up to 80 percent of women admit to faking it, so the chances are you have had one of these women in your bed… and that you haven’t spotted the fake orgasm.
So what do you think? Are fake orgasms easy to spot? Let us know what you think by leaving a comment in the box below or by voting in the poll.
Since then she has gained a fine reputation with her blogs on sex advice, sexual health and amusing news stories from around the globe. She is also a campaigner for the rights of sex workers from all over the world.
In her spare time, Lara keeps herself active by going running, and is something of a film buff. She also loves to go travelling.