How Do I Talk To My Partner About My Fantasy?

Talking about sex is easy for some people. If something isn’t working for them in the bedroom they will just come out and say it. They won’t mince their words. They’ll speak honestly and their partner will be totally fine with it. For others, talking about sex and your deepest fantasy isn’t so easy.

Woman in hat and whip showing no talk

You have to build yourself up to it, and even then you might struggle to find the right words. So just how do you talk to your partner about your sex fantasy? We have a few suggestions for you to try.

Try a little dirty talk

Dirty talk is a turn on for many people in bed. They love hearing their partner moaning and telling them what it is they love the most in the bedroom. Best of all, you can use dirty talk to divulge your deepest darkest secrets.

Start by telling your partner what feels good. If they touch you in a way that makes you shiver, tell them that. Something like “I love it when you do that” can get them used to you using dirty talk, which then paves the way for you to talk about your fantasy.

If they are using their nails on your body and you want to try BDSM, tell them that you like it. Usually this will prompt them to do it again, and afterwards you can talk about why you love it so much.

A man whispers sensual things in a woman's ear
Original source: WordPress

Share porn

Another excellent way to get talking about your fantasy is to share porn. You might see something you like and send it to your partner, or you might decide to sit down together and watch something.

To start with, go for something vaguely linked to your fantasies. You don’t want to throw your partner in at the deep end, do you?

Ease them into it and take the time afterwards to talk about the parts you liked the most. It might be that you both share fantasies, or that it is something they simply never thought about trying. They might have some questions about it and want to do some research, so have some other videos to hand, just in case.

I've been watching porn
Original source: Gurl

Wait until after sex

Believe it or not, the best time to talk about sex is right after sex. When you have had a hot and intense sex session, it is the perfect time to open up.

You are much more open to ideas and discussion when you have had an incredible orgasm. So when you are both lying there, in bed, bathing in the post-orgasm glow, you might just have the perfect opportunity to discuss your hottest sexy fantasies.

Tell them that you want to share a fantasy with them, then do it. Don’t go too overboard with the details at first. Give them a brief overview and see how they take it. If they seem open to hearing more, you can go on and tell them. If not, you can shelve the discussion for another time. They might simply need time to think about it.

The Notebook let's do it again
Original source: Tumblr

Sharing your deepest fantasy

Talking about sex and your fantasies can be tough. It is difficult to start having that kind of open and honest conversation, but it is much more difficult to keep it to yourself. This is why you should try some of the suggestions above to start having a conversation about sex with your partner.

If you have had that tough conversation yourself and want to share some tips, you can use the comment box below. Let us know how you dealt with it and some things you can do to make it easier for yourself. You might even uncover a few tips to use in the future!

Lara Mills
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Lara Mills

Lara Mills is a writer who has four years of sex industry expertise behind her. Since she entered the adult industry, she has worked on the Escort Advertising forums, before moving into her current role three years ago.

Since then she has gained a fine reputation with her blogs on sex advice, sexual health and amusing news stories from around the globe. She is also a campaigner for the rights of sex workers from all over the world.

In her spare time, Lara keeps herself active by going running, and is something of a film buff. She also loves to go travelling.
Lara Mills
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