I am 36 and for me, when I was young, social media wasn’t a big thing. Actually, if you think about it, it didn’t really exist. Yes, we had ‘chat rooms’ (do they still have them anymore?) but they were basically used for going and trolling other users in a manner that would get you into a lot of trouble these days.
One of the benefits of the social media revolution is that things are now discussed that were never really on the table in previous years. However, that can also be problematic. One thing I am hearing more about is the idea that a guy can come over and over again in one session.
One and Done
Now at the risk of over-sharing , it is never something I have attempted, or even felt capable of. For me it was always one and done, and the idea was to be able to make the woman come. After that, my dick would be over-sensitive and would then fall asleep. Now all I hear from women is that ‘guys should be able to get it up again in five mins’, and from guys saying they can go like a train.
I won’t lie, the whole thing had put a bit of a downer on things for me. Had I been having sex ‘wrong’? Had my previous partners been getting a raw deal?
These were serious issues for me. I don’t lack confidence at all, but I do want to be a good lover as sex is a very special shared experienced.
I therefore decided to have a gander around the Internet. Not Facebook of course, where idiocy reigns supreme, but on proper sex sites where these things are discussed. The feedback was actually astounding.
It seems that no guy should be expected to go again. It is actually more common for him to be one and done like me and Peyton Manning (one for the NFL fans out there!)
After a guy comes, he will go through something called ‘the refractory period. This is a time, after an orgasm where he is physically unable to have another.
For a guy in his 20’s, that refractory period, on average lasts about 1-2 hours. So this idea that you should be able to get up and go is actually nonsense.
Now this doesn’t mean there are guys who can’t do it. There will be of course fellas who can perform like the ‘Marathon Man’, but he is the exception to the rule.
There are ways where you can check out if you are capable. Give it 15 minutes and let your partner start playing with you. You will soon work out if you can get hard again. Even if you do, don’t be upset if you can’t come, not everyone can.
Now if you partner starts giving you shit about your sexual performance, it is likely that he or she has been on Facebook too much so ignore them. Actually, don’t. If anyone is nasty about the others ability, you need to seriously look at whether you want to be with them anyway.
Still, this isn’t a reason for a guy to roll over and go to sleep if his partner needs more. However, there are things he can do to make sure that she is finished. These can involve manual stimulation or oral sex, all of which can bring your partner to orgasm. Obviously for the latter you need to be careful about where you have come, for obvious reasons.
So next time you hear from a woman how you aren’t a real man if you can’t go again and again, or a guy is telling you how he can go straight into round two, feel free to suspect there is a whiff of bullshit in the air. Both are likely showing off and talking out of their ass!
Those of us who can go once are actually doing it right, if of course our partner is satisfied at the end.
Since then, he has specialised in articles on the battle for equal rights for sex workers, sexual health, as well as bringing the readers fun news from around the world. He also has a major interest in LGBT rights, and is an active campaigner in this field.
When he isn't fighting the good fight, he enjoys spending time with his girlfriend, and young daughter. He also enjoys reading and taking long walks.
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