Telling someone new about your fetish can be a real challenge. Even if it is a common fetish, like a foot fetish, you might find that you are worried about rejection. Some people just aren’t open to the idea of exploring fetishes, and so talking to others about it can be a real challenge.
So how exactly do you talk to your partner about your foot fetish? Are there ways you can help to ease them into it, or should you just be honest and blunt with them from the start? What is the best method for tackling this situation?
Do I have a foot fetish?
Foot fetishism is one of the most common types of sexual fetishes out there. Despite this, many have their own ideas about it. They feel that, because it is a fetish, it is something to be looked down upon. This is something a lot of people have experienced, and they might find themselves facing rejection as a result.
Often this is because of a lack of understanding. For example, people think that feet are dirty and disgusting. They don’t see why someone might find them beautiful and sexy. They don’t understand the pleasure that can be taken from cleaning someone’s feet, of running your fingers slowly over the arch of the foot.
Knowing whether you have a foot fetish or not tends to be easy enough, though Foot Files has a quiz if you aren’t sure. If you find yourself attracted to feet specifically and want to spend time looking and caressing them, this is usually a good indication that you have a fetish for them.
Be honest about it
When it comes to talking to your partner about your fetish, your best bet is to be honest and direct about it. Anything else could lead to confusion and miscommunication. You want to ensure that you and your partner are on the same page about it.
Be proud of your fetish and confident about it. If you act embarrassed, your partner might feel that it is shameful. They are then more likely to judge you for it, even if they don’t intend to. If you have a foot fetish, own it. Say to your partner that you’d like to talk to them about a fetish you have, and that you want to answer any questions that might come as a result of it.
Then just be straight with them. Say the words directly to them. You can then answer any questions that they might have and, if they ask for specifics, talk about what it is about feet that turn you on. For example, you might find that giving a foot massage is one of the hottest things to do in the bedroom.
Time to think
Once you’ve told them about your fetish, it is usually a good idea to give your partner some space. The distance is great because it gives them time to think. They can ponder your fetish and potentially think of more questions that they have for you.
Make it clear that you are willing to discuss it at any point, and that you are happy to answer any questions they might have. They might discover that there are things they didn’t ask you about because they were so caught up in the moment, so giving them the chance to talk later is great. There’s no pressure on them that way.
Plus, space gives them the chance to do their own research. They might take a look online to find communities discussing it. There are thousands of people out there celebrating their fetishes, and so they might just discover how others deal with this fetish.
If they want to try it…
The best thing that can come out of this open and honest talk is that your partner wants to try it. If so, great! However, you might still want to take things slowly. Overwhelming them could make them decide never to explore it with you again. A nice and easy start would be to offer to give them a full-body massage after a bath. This gives you the chance to play with their feet as part of the massage and make them feel good. Just make sure you explore the rest of their body at the same time!
You might want to spend some time admiring their feet. When you are getting ready to go out, tell them how hot their feet look in those shoes. They might put on a foot fashion show just for you. You could even suggest that you kiss their feet to show how much you love them. This can then lead nicely into oral play with their feet, if they are happy with it.
If they are happy to move things along, you can suggest a footjob. You can start off slowly with this by getting them to play with your genitals under the table during dinner. It’ll be incredibly kinky for you both. They can then place their feet together when you are alone to create a hole for you to fuck.
If they aren’t interested…
In an ideal world, your partner is going to be interested in exploring this fetish with you. Unfortunately this doesn’t always happen. They might simply not want to try it, or they still don’t understand it. The important thing is to understanding that this is okay. Not everyone is going to want to try it with you.
So make it clear to your partner, if they decide not to pursue it with you, that this is fine. There are still plenty of things you can do together. It is just that your fetish is not one of them.
How did you first mention your fetish to your partner? Were they very understanding about it, or did they need time to come to terms with it? Share your best advice in the comment box below to let us know how you handled the situation.
Since then she has gained a fine reputation with her blogs on sex advice, sexual health and amusing news stories from around the globe. She is also a campaigner for the rights of sex workers from all over the world.
In her spare time, Lara keeps herself active by going running, and is something of a film buff. She also loves to go travelling.