It can happen to anyone. You are really enjoying your sex session and suddenly it comes to an abrupt end with your orgasm. You don’t mean for it to happen, but premature ejaculation is one of the big worries men are facing when it comes to sex. They want to last longer in bed, but finding the right methods is tough.
Unfortunately, not all techniques work for everyone. This is why it is best to arm yourself with a number of different methods and try them out first. You are bound to find one or more that works for you, and so you can work towards lasting longer in bed!
1. Learn to relax
When it comes premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction, it can make it difficult to last long enough in bed to satisfy your partner. When it has happened once, it can happen again. It becomes an issue because we start to worry about when it will happen next… which isn’t good.
The worry actually means that it is more likely to happen again. You’ll get stuck in your own head, and so cumming too soon or being unable to keep it up are much more likely to happen. It sucks, but there is a solution. You need to learn to relax. Get out of your head and focus on the enjoyment of it. A massage can help, as can taking a bath together. Figure out what works for you and try it.
2. Exercises to try
Believe it or not there are actually exercises you can do to help improve your ability to control your orgasm. In fact, you could be doing them right now while you read this article. These exercises are known as Kegel exercises, and are easy to do when you get the hang of it.
Not sure how? You’ll need to work your Pubococcygeus muscle. Better known as your PC muscle, it helps to control the flow or urine as well as your ejaculation. By making it stronger you can last longer in bed. The best way to figure it out is to imagine that you are trying to stop yourself peeing mid-flow. Just a few minutes a day can really help. Try it while masturbating to see if it works for you.
3. Masturbate beforehand
In the film There’s Something About Mary, they make it clear that reaching ejaculation an hour or two before you have sex means it takes longer for the man to reach his orgasm. This means that you could delay your orgasm when you fuck… even if only for a few minutes.
It means that you can then work on matching the rhythm of your partner and focusing on their pleasure. You’ve already enjoyed an orgasm so you get to focus on something else for a while. When you do reach your orgasm, it’ll be much more intense because you have already cum!
4. Cock rings and sex toys
If your problem comes from being unable to maintain an erection for a decent length of time, a cock ring might just be the ideal solution for you. Cock rings tend to be pretty cheap pieces of equipment to buy, and you get a great variety to suit your needs.
They work by slowing the flow of blood between your cock and the rest of your body, which means you are able to keep it up for longer. Best of all, some come with vibrating bullet attachments which can sit just where your partner’s clit will hit. She’ll get off sooner and you’ll last longer!
5. Use the best condoms for the job
Believe it or not, safe sex can actually be a fantastic way to help you delay your orgasm in bed. You can buy condoms with ribs and dots “for her pleasure”, meaning that the texture of the condom will stimulate her g-spot every time you thrust. Combined with a little work on her clit, you can get her to cum sooner!
However, many prefer to use the extra safe condoms. These condoms are thicker, and so they make each stroke feel less intense on your cock. It means your orgasm won’t come as quickly, giving you more time to focus on what your partner wants and needs in bed.
6. Try edging
Edging is a fantastic technique for those who hope to last longer in bed. What you do is figure out where your point of no return is. This is the point where you cannot delay your orgasm if you pass it. Once you figure that out, you work right up to it.
With edging, you’ll get as close to the edge of your orgasm as you dare before backing off. This might mean slowing down or stopping sex altogether. When you stop sex you could switch to something else, such as going down on your partner. It’ll give you a break, help you last longer, and lead to a hell of an intensive orgasm.
7. Longer foreplay
If you want to get her off before you cum and you are worried that your cock isn’t going to be enough, you need to spend longer on foreplay. A huge amount of women struggle to orgasm from penetration alone. They need a little help, which is why foreplay and oral are such great tricks to use in the bedroom.
Make your foreplay last longer. Set a timer on your phone for ten minutes and don’t stop the foreplay until the timer goes off. In this time you’ll probably have brought her really close to orgasm, if you haven’t already taken her to the edge. Then you can have sex as you would and enjoy her orgasm as you enjoy your own!
How to last longer in bed
In order to last longer in bed you have to figure out what works for you. Unfortunately there is no magical solution. We can’t tell you a technique which will “100% work every single time” because everyone is different. The key is to keep trying different things to find what works for you.
Hopefully the techniques listed above will go some way to helping you. Not convinced? Got some other ideas you think work better? Let us know by leaving a comment in the box below.
Since then she has gained a fine reputation with her blogs on sex advice, sexual health and amusing news stories from around the globe. She is also a campaigner for the rights of sex workers from all over the world.
In her spare time, Lara keeps herself active by going running, and is something of a film buff. She also loves to go travelling.