It is difficult to find the courage to ask your partner about something new you want to try in the bedroom. It always seems even more difficult when it involves BDSM, as there is still some taboo surrounding it.
Spanking is one of those practices that can result in a negative response, and even if you do get a positive response you might still find it difficult to know exactly what to do. It isn’t as simple as giving your partner a tap with your hand during sex.
Thankfully, here at Escort Scotland we have created this “spanking for beginners” guide, to help those wanting to try spanking for the first time understand what they need to do to get it right.
Talking about spanking
The best way to find out how your partner feels about spanking is to ask them. It can be nerve-wracking, but it is preferable to simply going for it and receiving a bad reaction in return.
Have an open and honest conversation about it. Tell them what it is about spanking that turns you on, whether it is the idea of spanking your partner or being spanked by your partner. If it is part of a fantasy, take the time to explain to them just what your fantasy entails and why you want to try it with them.
Helping them to understand the spanking fetish will mean they are more likely to try it and enjoy doing it with you. If they aren’t sure about trying it, suggest that you do it just the once to see how they feel. They may find it a huge turn on to see your reaction to the spanking.
As with many domination games, you should set a safe word that can be said by either party to mean “stop”. Choose a word that you aren’t likely to cry out accidentally if you get to into the moment, and don’t choose stop in case that word plays into your fantasy.
For example, if you go for the school mistress punishing you role, saying “stop” can actually enhance the experience and show reluctance. Make the word an easy one to say and make sure you are both willing to acknowledge when it is said.
Using your safe word in no way means that you are weak. It could just mean that you need to take a moment to slow down and talk about how you feel with the experience. If things are moving too quickly or are a bit hard, you can take the time to talk about it and ensure you and your partner are both on the same page.
Don’t jump straight in with the spanking. You want to get you and your partner as relaxed as possible first, so start with foreplay and warm up to it.
A massage could even help your partner to relax. Start with some warm body oil or massage lotion and work your way slowly all over their body. Spend a good amount of time (at least ten minutes) doing this to help them relax.
Start slow and soft
You might want your partner to hit you with a firm hand and leave a mark, or you may want to bring your palm down onto their backside hard enough to make them scream, but you shouldn’t rush into it.
Instead start off slowly, with gentle taps with an open hand, and work your way up to the harder hits. Talk to your partner and tell them what you want to do or want them to do to you to help ease things along. They will appreciate the advice and help, and you can ensure you both get what you want.
When you are ready, move up to harder hits. Continue to tell them what feels good and just have fun with it. Remember, it if gets too much to use the safe word and discuss what you want in the future. Afterwards, you can talk to your partner to see if they enjoyed it.
Do you enjoy spanking? Is it part of a role play or is it just a little extra to your sex life that you really enjoy? You can share your experiences by going to the Escort Scotland forum or leave a comment in the box below.