BDSM and the world of domination are some of the most talked about topics at the moment. Following the release of Fifty Shades of Grey, we have seen a huge influx of other novels of this type, all with black backgrounds and grey objects on the cover to make us pick them up. They instantly tell us that these books are for the kinky among us. But for those not involved in the world of domination, it can be confusing as to why pain is attractive.
There are so many people out there interested in exploring this world that it has made those not a part of it curious. Why do so many people find pleasure in painful experiences during sex? What is it about submitting to somebody that turns us on so much? Why does the idea of your master or mistress abusing you make us want it more?
The rush of adrenaline
When we experience shock in some form, our body begins to boost certain things. We send more oxygen to the brain and to the muscles. We also experience one hell of an adrenaline boost. This boost also happens when you experience pain.
How many times have you hurt yourself, or been hurt by someone else in the bedroom, only to find that the pain isn’t as severe at the time. You can cope with it. This is because of the adrenaline. It numbs it a little, and when the pain comes as a shock it feels even better.
Spanking, for example, is a popular way to shock somebody. You’ll know that it is going to happen when you bend over for your partner, but you won’t know until you feel their hand connect with the flesh of your ass. It is intense, and the rush of adrenaline feels good.
Pain makes you sensitive
That said, when the initial rush of adrenaline fades away, you’ll notice that you can really feel the pain. You become very much aware of where you have been hurt. For example, with spanking you’ll feel the tingle all over your skin where their hand made contact. With nipple clamps, you’ll find that your nipples are hard as a response to it.
Not only that, but the pain makes you much more sensitive. Blood rushes to the surface of your skin, so everything feels that little bit more intense.
Every time your mistress or master touches you there it will feel even better. When they teasingly run a hand over your nipple it will feel so good, but also with the sting of pain. This combination of pain and pleasure is incredible.
Taking your punishment
For some people, it isn’t simply the pain itself that is attractive to them. If it was, they might simply do it to themselves in the comfort of their own home. You want the sado-masochistic relationship, and so it has to come from somebody else.
The idea of being punished it a turn on. If you do something wrong in a normal bedroom, you might simply move on from it. With kink it is more extreme. If you do something wrong you will be punished for it, and you will remember your lessen very vividly.
This can also then go hand in hand with humiliation. To be corrected in a physical way for a mistake can make you feel as though you are not good enough. You’ll take your punishment before you start doing everything you can to please your partner. You don’t want to receive the abuse again unless you deserve it, and you really want to make them happy.
Total trust
One of the biggest parts of it, however, is that sado-masochistic relationships have a huge amount of trust. The sub will totally trust their dom to take them to their limits and not beyond it unless they want them to.
Receiving pain from them is fine because you know that it will feel good. You’ll be more sensitive to every touch as a result of it, and the abuse that they throw your way is because you have this relationship of trust with them.
This is made evident by what happens after a BDSM session. BDSM sessions end with aftercare. The sub is usually told what a good job they have done, are cuddled closely, and they are given the chance to talk about what happened. This is particularly important when there has been verbal abuse thrown around and some intense pain, as it can help to bring them down from the high in the right way. Simply leaving them to it can leave them shaking and uncertain.
Pain or pleasure?
There are so many different reasons why being abused and punished is appealing, especially in a sado-masochistic relationship. It really tests your relationship and trust for your partner, as you are putting your pleasure totally in their hands. You trust them to know your limits and when you need a break, which is extremely thrilling.
Plus, the painful feeling can be a huge turn on. That said, it isn’t a turn on for everybody. When it comes to sex many would prefer to take the pleasure. But how do you feel about it? You can let us know by voting in the poll and telling us which side you’d prefer.
Why do you think people enjoy being abused and punished by their master or mistress? Why is it such a big turn on? Let us know in the comments below.
Since then she has gained a fine reputation with her blogs on sex advice, sexual health and amusing news stories from around the globe. She is also a campaigner for the rights of sex workers from all over the world.
In her spare time, Lara keeps herself active by going running, and is something of a film buff. She also loves to go travelling.
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