Advice

Man Sends Wife Spreadsheet of Her ‘No Sex’ Excuses

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A woman has revealed online that her husband has sent her a spreadsheet of all the excuses she made when she refuses to have sex with him.

Man with a hangover lying in a hotel bed with sexy woman in a black underwear

For a month, the incredibly frustrated man, 26, wrote down each time he was knocked back, noting her reasons which ranged from “I’m sweaty and gross” to “I’m too tired” and “I’m watching the show (Friends re-run)”.

Excel Spreadsheet

He put all the information into an Excel spreadsheet and emailed it to his 26-year-old wife as she was preparing to go away on a 10-day business trip.

The sheet revealed that only three of his attempts had been successful. The now rather annoyed woman tried to contact her husband, but he was not answering calls. She then took to Reddit to show the sheet and to voice of her anger.

Spreadsheet screenshot

The incident actually occurred in 2014 but has recently gone viral again after it was shared on ‘BoredPanda’.

The lady went on to reveal that they had been together for five years, and had been married for two. They even bought a house five months previously.

“Our lives have been crazy busy,” she said.

“We spent all spring renovating our new house. At my job I was given nearly double my usual workload after some of my colleagues were laid off. I gained some weight in the winter and have been busting my a** at the gym to get rid of it.

“Yesterday morning, while in a taxi on the way to the airport, husband sends a message to my work email which is connected to my phone.

“He’s never done this, we always communicate in person or by text. I open it up and it’s a sarcastic diatribe basically saying he won’t miss me for the 10 days I’m gone.

“Attached is a SPREADSHEET of all the times he has tried to initiate sex since June 1, with a column for my ‘excuses’, using verbatim quotes of why I didn’t feel like having sex at that very moment.”

It has to be said, most of the ire from Reddit users was aimed at the husband. One poster wrote;

“There are so many ways this could have been communicated better, but instead he came up with some bizarre hit and run with a spreadsheet method which I’d say is actually going to be really hard to come back to a normal relationship from.”

Another commented: “Don’t you just love it when people call being sick, exhausted or extremely stressed out ‘excuses’. How about thinking about someone else’s feelings for a change?”

However, some actually saw what the man was trying to do with one suggesting: “Maybe her husband has got sick and tired of being totally and utterly ignored for months on end, has had enough and wants resolution to the issue. This time, after all attempts, he has got her attention.”

Was The Guy Right?

I have to admit, I am a bit torn on this one. If one partner feels that they are being rebuffed when it comes to sex, then communication is the key. The problem comes when you are doing it in a spreadsheet like you are at work. You just come across as a bit of a dickhead.

However, we don’t know what went on before. Has the man tried to discuss it previously, been ignored, and this is his last resort? I have no idea either way, but I would somehow doubt that this would have been the starting point of his conversation, unless of course he has serious problems.
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Then again, going on to Reddit hardly strikes me as the actions of the most mature person. If I have an argument with my partner, I am not heading to the site. That does make me worry that it may not be genuine, but then again, that is just my natural cynicism. Younger people are more interested in things like Reddit, so what sounds daft to me may not actually be.

They do say that truth is often stranger than fiction.

Martin Ward
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