Traditionally, we associate BDSM with face-to-face contact. A submissive will go to visit their dominant partner, discuss in detail what they wish to do, and then go through with it once all the rules have been established. However, now you don’t even need to be face-to-face to have a great BDSM relationship.
Interested in a long distance BDSM relationship with a domme but not sure how it works? I explain everything you will need to know.
It is just as intense
For some reason, people feel that trying BDSM over a long distance means that it won’t be anywhere near as intense. However, assuming this would be a mistake. It can be just as intense, with many preferring it to face-to-face interactions.
You might not be there to take the spanks or the canings. You might not even be able to engage in watersports with them directly. There are still so many options open to you, and there are plenty of things that work better with distance between you and your partner. So if you do think that it won’t be as intense, throw that thinking out of the window. It can be so much more intense simply because your domme isn’t there to restrain you. You have to restrain yourself on their orders, such as doing certain things or acting in a certain way.
Complete your tasks
Often, long distance BDSM tends to be a case of being sent instructions. As a submissive, you may receive a list of tasks that you must do. They will vary, depending on the kind of submission you are doing. For example, if you are offering to be a slave for them, they might give you a list of household chores to accomplish for them. Depending on how intense you want it, they might also add time limits to these tasks. If you don’t complete them in a certain time, you’ll be punished.
The punishments will vary, and obviously things like spanking won’t work over the phone. However, they might be able to come up with the perfect punishments for distance. It might be that you don’t get to hear their voice later on, or that they will tell you what a waste of time you are. It all depends on your experience.
Web cam and phone sex
The rapid growth of technology means that sex has been made even easier over long distances. Phone sex and web cams mean that you can have a totally new BDSM experience without ever leaving home. The best thing is that technology means you can be involved in BDSM anywhere and at any time. Right now you could be receiving instructions from a hot dominatrix, eager to make you do their bidding.
Your domme might send you a personalised video. This is particularly useful if you are into humiliation, as they will tell you how worthless you are. It could even be that they send their demands to you in the form of a video, to give you an even bigger thrill.
Orgasm denial
One of the big trends in long distance BDSM relationships at the moment is orgasm denial. Your domme will decide when, or if, you can come. They’ll make you beg for it, make you work for it, and then they might not let you have it, depending on your behaviour.
They may even put stipulations on your orgasm. They might demand a cum-tribute to them, or they might insist that you have to do it outside somewhere. It will all depend on the things you’ve agreed on in your discussions previously.
Financial domination
If you are on social media following any dominatrixes, you’ll have seen that financial domination is on the rise. So many dommes are on places like Twitter, demanding that pay pigs put their money where their mouth is and either send money their way or buy them things.
This is the perfect practice for long distance BDSM. You can easily send them something from their Amazon wishlist, or you could simply use a payment transfer system to send money their way. It is perfect for anyone with distance between them.
Long distance BDSM
Like all types of domination and submission, long distance BDSM is something you should discuss with your partner. Just because you aren’t in the same room or sometimes even the same country doesn’t mean you shouldn’t discuss it.
Got your own suggestions for long distance BDSM? Share them with us in the comments below!
Since then she has gained a fine reputation with her blogs on sex advice, sexual health and amusing news stories from around the globe. She is also a campaigner for the rights of sex workers from all over the world.
In her spare time, Lara keeps herself active by going running, and is something of a film buff. She also loves to go travelling.
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