It’s not just men’s testicles that go AWOL close to orgasm, the clitoris often does the same. For men, the testes need to be retracted in order to orgasm and in the same way the clitoris regularly hides under its hood when nearing orgasm. It can be difficult to find at the best of times and many are clueless when it comes to performing oral sex, which can cause unease for both parties in the bedroom.
If your partner’s clit does vanish during foreplay, don’t panic and don’t go looking for it either! Just continue stimulating the general area in which the clitoris was last seen, which will still feel fantastic for her. Sex Therapist Tracey Cox suggests gently massaging her tummy too. As you do this, press your palm downwards towards the vagina, and this can make the clitoris ‘pop’ back out again. The most important thing is to keep going when she starts to orgasm. A woman’s orgasm is roughly three times longer than a man’s and it’s common for men to think it’s all over when it’s not. If you stop touching or licking her at the start of her orgasm, it’s very likely that she won’t continue. This is frustrating for your partner, so follow through until she’s done.
The Right Environment
Trying to orgasm through clitoral stimulation, although the most common way, can be stressful for you partner. With all the effort you are putting in, she’s desperate to orgasm to please you. The result is that your partner can become anxious and uptight and these aren’t ideal conditions for her body to be in. Try relaxing her firstly with a hot bath or a shoulder rub and remind her that you get just as much of a kick out of this as she does – regardless of whether or not she orgasms.
If you tire easy, why not switch things up a little with a vibrator. Your partner can either try using a toy on herself first and then you can join in, or you can switch between tongue/fingers and a toy. This reduces the likelihood of you cramping and allows her to have non-stop stimulation. Toys can also help women learn what they like and don’t like, and then it’s simply a matter of showing you how to replicate these sensation and feeling with your tongue and fingers.
Think Toys
One of the top clitoral stimulators currently on the market is the Sqweel Go (£39.99). This sexy toy has 10 lapping tongues which rotate to give her clitoris the unmistakable sensation of cunnilingus. Each sensual tongue is made from silicone, with the powerful motor boasting six speeds and variations for to reproduce fantastic oral sex sensations. Use with plenty of lube and she’s guaranteed to moan with pleasure.
If you’re looking specifically for a vibrator there are dozens available that suit all budgets and fetishes. A low-cost and popular vibrator is the Lovehoney Powerful Pocket Vibrator (£5.99). This small clitoral vibrator uses single speed vibrations and three metal nubs to deliver precise massage. This is perfect for beginners or for those who are looking for a small, simple and discreet toy.
Some Simple Tips
1) When you start to wander down there, let her legs fall open naturally. If you notice her legs look stiff, rub and kiss them until she’s relaxed. The more comfortable she feels, the easier it’ll be for her to let go and orgasm.
2) Turn on your toy and press it firmly against the lips of her vagina and hold it there, varying the pressure and experimenting with different settings. The aim is to stimulate her clitoris, which is at the top end of her vagina. So begin to move the vibrator until you reach the mons pubis, the fleshy bit located over the pubic bone, and gently apply some pressure. Again experimenting with speed and pressure and let her moans guide you.
3) Most women will find the vibrator directly on the clitoris uncomfortable and it is likely to become too sensitive. Instead, roll it a little from side to side so that it works on different parts of the clitoris. These parts are located underneath the closed lips and are hard to locate, but moving your vibrator around this area is likely to stimulate these parts too.
4) As she’s reaching an orgasm, she may feel like she needs to pee. This could make her feel anxious, so re-assure her that this won’t happen (and in most cases it won’t!) However, if she feels scared or overwhelmed with the sensations and asks you to stop; stop immediately. There’s no need to push her too far as it could put her off trying it again. Instead, when she’s ready try it again and ask her to try it for a little longer next time. Repeat this until she orgasms. Once she knows what it feels like and that the “I’m about to burst” sensation is normal, she’ll relax into it and orgasms will become easier to achieve.
Patience
Patience is the key to a happy sex life, so take the time to explore various techniques with your partner until you find something that works for you both. If her clit vanishes, it’s a sign that whatever you’re doing is working, so keep going and watch your girl lose control. For more suggestions on foreplay and toys; the escorts in Aberdeen know what they like and don’t like under the sheets. Give them a call today and who knows what you’ll discover!
Since then, he has specialised in articles on the battle for equal rights for sex workers, sexual health, as well as bringing the readers fun news from around the world. He also has a major interest in LGBT rights, and is an active campaigner in this field.
When he isn't fighting the good fight, he enjoys spending time with his girlfriend, and young daughter. He also enjoys reading and taking long walks.
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