It is a question that well and truly divides people. Some insist that seeing an escort when you are already in a relationship counts as cheating, while others say that that simply isn’t the case and those who believe it is don’t understand the industry.
It is thought that around 20% of married men have been or are being unfaithful to their wives… does this include those visiting escorts? Here on the Escort Scotland blog we take a look at both sides of the argument, and you can help us figure out if seeing an escort really does count as cheating. Keep reading to see what people say about this hot topic!
The difference between an affair and an escort
It has pretty much been agreed that meeting up with a woman to start an affair when you are married is cheating. After all, you are becoming emotionally and physically involved with someone else and then happily going back to your partner as though nothing is wrong. This usually happens when the sex dries up from a marriage and the man has asked for it so many times only to be constantly knocked back… so they go looking elsewhere.
Seeing an escort is different. For a start, there isn’t the same emotional element to it. Yes, sex is still a part of it, but you don’t have to worry about becoming “involved”. There are no questions from the escort about if you will leave your wife, and it is a great way to get the physical part of a relationship without the emotional, especially if you already get that at home!
When you are having an affair, you also find yourself worrying about what will happen if the person you are seeing wants more from you, or if things turn sour. They could turn around to your wife and friends and reveal all, leaving you in a heap of trouble. It isn’t the same with escorts. With escorts it is simply a business transaction, so it is easy to see why it is so much easier with an escort!
Even if you aren’t thinking about an affair, having a one night stand is still a lot riskier than seeing an escort. Escorts insist on safe sex, meaning you are much less likely to catch an STI or STD. They are looking after both their own health and yours. With one night stands you tend to have both had a little bit to drink, and in that state it is easy to forget the condoms. That is definitely worse than seeing an escort!
Your definition of cheating
One of the biggest reasons that men choose to see escorts rather than starting an affair is that they have their own desires in the bedroom that simply aren’t being fulfilled. It could be that just aren’t getting sex, or it could be that they have a particular fetish that their partner doesn’t share with them. Is a man going to see a dominatrix to be treated like a dog cheating?
A lot of it depends on your definition of cheating. You can easily go online and search for it, but you get a huge range of answers, and what you count as cheating might not be to someone else.
For example, this weekend I was talking to some girlfriends. One was raging that she had caught her boyfriend winking at another girl at the bar and said she couldn’t believe he was cheating on her. As far as she knew, it was just a wink, and yet she thought he was having a proper affair! To me and the others around, this wasn’t having an affair. It was simply harmless flirting. For some though, that is all it has to be!
For some cheating is when you have physical relations with another person, such as kissing or fucking them. However, many see cheating as something else. They see it as the emotional connection between people, and that having sex with others is fine as long as you don’t start a real affair with them!
So is it cheating?
Simply typing in “is seeing an escort cheating” into Google will come up with “about 440,000 results” (at the time of writing this article), so it is clear that people want to know. If you start looking at some of the pages that have come up, you can also see how conflicted people are. Most of the pages will scream “yes!” to you, while others argue that seeing an escort is not the same as cheating.
On one site, one user says that “it’s like if you’re (sic) parents owned a restraunt (sic), and instead of eating there you felt like getting a Big Mac”. They go on to say that “there’s no betrayal” as “it’s more he had an appetite for something the restraunt (sic) couldn’t serve up”. They believe that, if you are having trouble at home getting what you want, going to an escort for it isn’t cheating, as you are simply going to the service provider.
While there are some out there who don’t agree with this logic, there are plenty of people who do. After all, a Tokyo court recently ruled that paying for sex didn’t count as adultery when it came to the breakdown of a marriage, as it is a business transaction and “such conduct does not damage peaceful marital life”.
What do you think on this topic? Is seeing an escort cheating, or is it something different entirely? You can let us know what you think, whether you agree that it is cheating or disagree, by leaving a comment in the box below. If you are curious to see what others think about this hot topic, why not head on over to the Escort Scotland forum and join in the discussion there!
Since then she has gained a fine reputation with her blogs on sex advice, sexual health and amusing news stories from around the globe. She is also a campaigner for the rights of sex workers from all over the world.
In her spare time, Lara keeps herself active by going running, and is something of a film buff. She also loves to go travelling.